Decisions...

I don't fall off the wagon. I consciously make bad spending decisions. I spent 140 uncalculated dollars today. What do I have to show for it....a cool bracelet and a funky rose shaped knitted barrette/broach. I understand now; I choose to buy when I don't need. I am present in the moment when these things happen....well of course I'm present but I mean I'm focused mentally and understand the implications of my actions but I say pluck it and just spend away. I am painstakingly aware of the behavior; now I must change it.

In other news, I am trying very hard, some may say too hard to like Gary Unmarried. I wanna dig this show but come on give me something to love....anything. Have I expressed my love of Marley and Me? This is a really good movie in the fluffy feel good kind of way. My new 15 dollar barrette/broach is sooo neat and will work perfect with my hair being that I have foregone straight hair for the time being and an working on a curly/frizzy fro hybrid something.

......When people know you or have known you for a while you earn the right to expect certain behaviors from them..demand them even. To my friend who called me tonight....YES, I was laid off and I know that you know because we work in a small industry. Next time I'd prefer you come out with the question like, NINA, what happened with work? I heard you weren't with Superflus on the Bus anymore. Don't beat around the bush or ask me how I'm doing 100 times expecting me to sound rocked to the core. First of all you should know me better than that....my faith is too strong and we are better than that. Don't play coy with me because not only do I hate it but it makes me question our friendship and in my time of purge and replace you may end up on the list. Love you still.....