I've been reading around and I know this topic has been covered to death and the good hair...well good hair is behavioral not texture argument has been made. Still I have to weigh in on the issues surrounding women and their hair - black woman in particular. Okay so lets state the obvious...woman often obsess about their hair. Black, White, Asian, Hispanic...we're all guilty so I'm not gonna blast sisters for our relationship with our hair. I will say that it has unhealthy origins and is dysfunctional. As a natural that has been going through the stages for the past 12 years or so let me confess some sins here. When I first went natural and cut all of my hair off, before people were using cutsie terms like big chop and twa, I didn't like what I saw. My friend had cut off her hair into a bit more than a cesar. I was FEELING IT. I cut mine too. She had a texturizer. I was ready to go in. When I went to the salon and had it cut, the beautician told me, I didn't need a texturizer because I already had curls but I didn't like what was sprung from my roots. I texturized. I don't feel guilty about it; it was part of the journey. That was 1997. Since then I've had weaves, locs, braids, a relaxer, short cuts...e'verthing. In 2003 I relaxed in a fit of frustration. The summer was wrecking havoc on my hair and because I still hadn't learned how to care for it, I went back to what was familiar. I shut down all texture. I loved it on the Friday it was done and the subsequent Saturday but by Sunday I had the gas face. Fast forward to now and I'm natural again...wearing my hair unstraightened as the norm rather than the break. I had to or am learning to take care of my hair all over again. It's been four months since I started this no heat journey. It's been crazy...but I wouldn't have it any other way. I say all this because even naturals go through things with their hair...love hate things and I say this because being natural is now a bandwagon. Now I don't mind, shit it's your hair so if you wanna jump on do it but people need to stop putting naturals on a pedestal..we have some shit with us to. I know chicks who loc just for the promise of long hair. There are people who go natural looking for a specific texture and cut bait when they don't see it. They ask..with disdain or disappointment, "what can I do to get my curls to pop." Sometimes, your curls ain't gonna pop baby, and that's okay. To me, natural is letting it be - whatever it is. Still I can't knock someone elses' hustle, I guess. We all have to navigate this life the best way we know how. So it's not only relaxed girls who have texture issues. Naturals do too. People look at natural girls and guys as if they are some kinda deep. Honey, hair has never been an indication for depth. We have to look deeper. The issue is not the hairstyle but the feeling about what is diametrically opposite of you. Relaxed girls who think natural hair isn't sexy, professional, is nappy, dry and unattractive or Natural girls who think relaxed means: you hate yourself, your hair, your culture, you aren't enlightened, lacking spirit, without depth. We are part of the problem and it manifests in the way we judge one another. I straightened my hair last week. Does that mean I hate myself or wanted to be something other than the glorious woman God made me? To some naturals, yes. There were more than a few people that I know who had fits when Jill Scott wore her hair straight. EASE UP folks..she wanted to change her 'do. She's entitled. If we can get past the hair and fix those deeper issues we may be on to something. So although I saw the Tyra Show clip (haven't watched the episode yet...just not ready) I didn't want to blast the idiots doing idiotic things on the idiot box because the problem is deeper than them.
In the meantime remember that I am not my hair...and neither are you.