I vow to stop lying to myself and ignoring the things that hold me back. I vow to take solace in the woman I am. Articulate, intelligent, goofy, occasionally snooty, greedy, funny, not focused, endearing big dreamer me. I like the woman that I am. The woman that I will never be is also pretty fantastic but I'm not her and that's okay.
Today I vow to change the tape in my head, the worst case scenario tape which is really a pessimistic play book of all the ways things can go wrong. Today I vow to assess all of my relationships, not from a place of judgement but from the comfort of need and desire. If it doesn't work for me I will decide what needs to be discarded,toned down and tuned out.
Today I vow to take more deep breaths and do more things that are out of my comfort zone; not in the way that I did in 2008 when I said yes to most anything. No, not in that way. This time I will say yes to the things that may make me feel uncomfortable because they trigger insecurities that I hate navigating my way through or things that I frown on for one of many reasons.
Today I will enforce more quiet time and engage my thoughts. Today I will allow every smile allotted to me by foolish flights of fancy (don't you just love The Best Man) but I will not be carried away on the trip.
Today I acknowledge that I am a work in progress and that's okay.
There's always a dissonant stream of thoughts in my head. Welcome to the conversation.
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